Offering my words up as I pour them out through the form of my stories and poetry. Some are safe...all our delightfully hedonic.




My soul is tired and weary.
My headaches lead me in circles.
Mediation makes me too tired.
Yet I still am trying to get to that fruitful abyss that you call sanctuary, that you call peace.

My mind wonders and is hard to keep on track
Yep I forgot to put a period on that last sentence.
I struggle with my looks.
Not happy with what I see.
I even try to avoid mirrors if possible.
Don't look at me.

I feel as though I am standing still and everyone is moving so fast around me.
I want to matter.
Take make a difference.
I just have a problem with paying attention and focusing.

I have to listen to instrumental jazz music at work to not be agitated and not look at the clock.
Is it time to go home yet?
I just want to lay down and take a 6 hour nap.
I'll be refreshed by midnight.

I worry all the time.
I worry if I'll ever be mentally stable.
I worry about my parents.
I worry about my family.
I worry about my friends.
I worry if I'm by myself in the world will I be ok.

I didn't want to be here past my 35th birthday.
I wanted to be happy somewhere else, just not here.
I feel like a failure, utterly useless and unaccomplished.
Yet I can't focus so what could I be good at.

My headache is coming back.
Maybe I should read up on Mediation.
My soul is tired and weary.
I need a nap.

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